Moderation Bowl of Buffet

Buffet, Smorgasborg (?), wonderful stuff!!

But our culture or belief that we need to try to get our moneys worth is really at conflict with our health when we go to a buffet...where our desire to get our moneys worth is combined with our desire to continue the joy of tasting until our stomach says it is stuffed (which, the stomach by the way is actually shy by nature...and it doesn't speak up to yell enough until it is swollen out to the very peak of what it can hold except for the spout...kind of like the way we fill up our cars sometimes.

Wish buffet owners would offer "the moderation bowl" at half the buffet price. You are allowed one pass, the bowl will contain about a liter, you get the variety of the buffet...you get the "moneys worth" side of you satisfied..and the "feel good afterward" health side of you met at the same time.

If you were really feeling hungry..buy one for there, one to go. You eat about what the stomach could comfortably hold while there...the other bowl is sealed and ready for working on an hour or two from now....

Not so much at once. If I write a dictionary definition for "moderation" ..."not so much at once".

That is enough to think on for now.

Hard Knocks Lessons

"Use it or lose it, a true maxim.
Perhaps, my failing hearing is evidence of my hardheadedness."
-Okeerlee-

Legislating Righteousness

Many of the people in my generation grew up believing that it was a sin to dance, to drink a beer, to put a coin in a slot machine or buy a lottery ticket (well, they didn't have lottery tickets in my day but any kind of gambling was just "wrong"). Sometimes...if not commonly, opinions or beliefs become "laws". And when the error is discovered, instead of correcting the error..."adjustments" are made.

A good example...in the state of Oklahoma you can buy liquor..but not at a convenience store...they are limited to 3.2 % beer. So the beer they sell in convenience stores in Texas or Arkansas can be full strength...the beer companies have to make a separate product for Oklahoma and a few other states. Now you CAN buy whiskey or even full strength beer in Oklahoma...but only in a liquor store. Don't plan on bringing your lunch if you work in a liquor store though, unless its a lunch that doesn't need the icebox...no refrigerators are allowed, you can not buy full strength beer, or wine refrigerated. But thats not to say you can't buy a "frozen margarita"...you can, but not in a convenience store or liquor store...for that you must go to a restaurant/club.

What a crazy bunch of laws. Spin offs from the prohibition being repealed, but people thinking they gotta keep stuff under control to some degree!! Surely everybody realizes readily that if liquor stores were permitted to sell a refrigerated products...alcoholism would immediately spread like wildfire throughout the entire state of Oklahoma. And isn't it a total mystery how people are still able to be convicted of drunk driving with 3.2 beer? Does anybody actually believe that the 3.2 law is keeping somebody from becoming drunk? It just means it takes 7 beers to equal 6 regular beers... not much difference but it appeased some lawmaker or voting group at some point.

In all our opinions about what is "right" and "wrong" according to the Bible and making laws accordingly...do we realize that Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, David, Solomon, and a host of the great men of God in days gone by would today be locked up and charged with felony bigamy? That is true though...The teachings against polygamy don't come from the scriptures...even though the law is meant to be a "righteous" one, its actually derived from traditions established in the Romans days. But of course wouldn't Jesus Himself have been put in jail for making wine for the wedding or is that legal without a special license...the D.A. would have to decide that one.

If we really could ever see truth with both eyes open...wonder what all we would find we've really really screwed up in our misunderstandings? I'm mindful of the fact that it was the "cream of the crop" righteousness wise...that deemed Jesus to be so wrong when it came to obeying God that they yelled for His crucifixion. Absolutely amazing...but don't be discouraged. So even if we finally get our glasses cleaned and can see real truth, what God ACTUALLY DOES SAY...would we think Him Unrighteous? Ya, That is what John 1:1-18 says happened. Just amazing.

Personally I still believe we can know what the Bible actually says or doesn't say, but I also think it is VERY difficult to see it with our culturally trained presuppositions we wear like reading glasses. I can't help but wonder how very very different our life would be if we laid aside the foggy glasses and had plain pure truth. Would we like it? Or would we react like the Islamics who also think they know what is what and feel so strong about it they chop off body parts of offenders.

Yet it is my opinion that Truth is intended to be Known, comprehended, understood...I don't accept the lazy reaction of.."who can know it" or "who is to say this is right or this is wrong"..I have no doubt that in that good old book called "the Bible" we can find the truth. But do we really want to know it? Can we handle it?

AN EASY CHRISTMAS PLAN

Lots of family coming? Feel like you want to buy gifts for everybody but the family is so big now, and there isn't really anything "NEEDED" by anybody gift-wise..Heres how to do it. Everybody brings a gift. A spending limit is set and MUST be strictly adhered to, Don't go over the maximum unless you just want to make people feel bad. A common limit is $20 or $30. You bring just one gift, for each person that comes there is one gift. When everybody gets the gifts there, the gifts are counted, make a number for as many gifts on cut small squares and mixed up in a hat/bowl. As it goes around each person draws a paper and the person with #1 goes to the table and selects a wrapped gift, then #2..etc. After the gifts are all handed out . Its time to open them and keep or trade. Everybody has fun, everybody leaves with a gift, and the next day....no credit card interest starting to eat away at next years income.

(Now children still at home of course can participate, but Santa still brings theirs in the night).

captured the thoughts for the day

"Just take a few weeks off."
"yeah that would be really good, but...can't afford to take a few weeks off just yet...those are weeks without pay....plus, that puts a strain on the resources the company has for handling substitution....which in turns puts pressure on my coworkers cause they can't get relief or off and they may really have needed it for something traumatic. "

Where is your flow chart?

In the early 80's in "introduction to structured programming" ('basic plus' was the operating language being learned.) the teacher disdained that I did not do "flowcharts"...or that when I did do them, I did so only because I had been compelled to turn one in, and it was inevitably produced AFTER I had written the program, and was a reflection of exactly what the program did...but based on empirical observation, not in creative forethought in the outlay of the design. Little did I know at that point in life the serious significance of this defect.


In high school wood-shop, same trouble...I was building the object when the teacher walked up wanting to see the plans. They are in my head, being created as I go. Not acceptable, but the teacher had many students and usually a distraction got me out of the tedious task of going back to the desk and creating a plan.

It was some three decades later in life before it hit me one day that my problem in life was exactly the same as in that computer class, or shop class. I'm not designing it then following the plan...I'm so busy figuring out the plan as I go...its easier just to tell what i did , when i get done. This, despite horrifically hard working sacrificial efforts, has not succeeded in a comfortable, secure, relaxing existence financially speaking. And while it has offered many enjoyed jobs and chores thru the years, it is now in later years when I am already wishing that I did not "have to" work so hard and at so near entry level of a position.

It is now that I'm trying to figure out what to do to get out of this rat race a bit and spend more time at home, and not as demanding of my energy. And I'm discovering...how that all along, and definitely at least now...a plan needs to exist, a "flow chart" that leads to it..a strategy and a work-list...or step by step....and moving towards it as surely as assembling an unassembled bookcase. I need to be so familiar with the flowchart along the journey that when I reach each desired goal, it is with the feeling of deja vu simply because I've had this in my mind all along the way (just like knowing what the bookcase is to look like).

Ahhh...If I live to be old, I'll have living figured out. Maybe.

Somedays there are subtle signs that should warn us to stay home

Understanding the look I give when you're talking to me

This is EXACTLY what it is like with impaired hearing. How words sound to me, and how my mind works to put it together to determine your message.

be patient thru the first part...

Things to Think About

Today, an Excellent day, as Grace Kelly...that "almost 6" year old and I toodled along in my old pickup for about a 35 mile ride to the house. There was alot of interesting stuff to see, cows eating the leaves of a tree, a baby horse, goats, road kill, another road kill, another, another.."why so many dead animals?" question, another...

Remember how summers felt when we were kids? I asked her what her plans were for summer when school was out soon...."every single day go swimming, go bowling, and come back to the house and keep on having fun, every single day". Wow...its that simple.

We painted more on the mural on her wall...adding the shoes to the 3 or 4 foot doll painting of Strawberry Shortcake we've been working on for probably a year now...in a "from time to time" like pace.

She even let me help her name her life-size doll that she interacts with in a motherly fashion so often. While her mind is young and still unexposed to some meanings and linked emotions...she approved of a sweetly spoken idea..."Moron". So at this moment, "Moron" has been put to bed for a nap.

We dipped the ends of match sticks in the liquid around a burning candle wick, twirl it slow, lift it out straight up (pointing down), with the wax forming a tear-drop shape at the bottom as we blew softly. Once cooled, a new layer was added, many times.

She didn't know what a burning insect smells like. Wow, that should be at least one school project of many in that first year of school. There was a big dead Lunar Moth in the grill of the car. Once straight pinned to a stick, and held to a flame...that experience was gained. The reaction was pretty emphatic...probably not going to be a smell she could "adapt to".

Another thing learned today... To tighten the chain on the chainsaw. Loosen the two bar holding nuts about a half a turn, then while holding upward pressure on the nose end of the bar, turn the adjustment screw (between the bar nuts). (it does have a limit though, so don't turn it past the point it goes to easily). The tension of the chain ideal when pulled up, barely daylight can be seen under just one of the bottom side "guide-rudder" (my name for it) of a link in the chain. then tighten the bar holding nuts (using the spark plug wrench size end of that cool T-wrench commonly used with chainsaws...).

The day isn't over.

NOVELTIES IN THE SIXTIES

I remember these! They were kind of fun back then.

Nappy Headed Ho?

Sounds like an immature insulting. Ever since the now "has-been" Imus uttered that (title of this blog) and got fired for it...people have been trying to be cute saying it everywhere else. I heard it in Chicago Tuesday, and I heard it in Dallas Wednesday. Both times I asked the speaker "Why would you want to repeat something that got a guy fired when he said it, cost people jobs, hurt peoples feelings? What is the point of it? It is not a KIND thing to say, and our good Lord wants us to be KIND one to another and that is not KIND." Usually that met with an arrogant reply but they did seem to stop saying it so...thats fine.

There is still a big segment of our country made up of kind people, thankfully. But them bad apples sure do spoil the pie.

The mass murdering in Virginia has also taken place since I've been away, and all kinds of people suggesting more laws need to be passed? People , there are already laws covering that...more laws are not the answer. Gun Control does have an interesting involvement in it though...because if there wasn't so much gun control, maybe some of the students/faculty would have been armed and the death toll would have been much lower. Maybe we need to cut back the involvement of our culture with graphic people killing people video games. To focus on the gun is to miss the picture completely, focus on the building blocks of what broke this kid so far away from the nature God intended for him? where he allowed himself hatred instead of love, where it was accepted in his mind to do something so appalling.

It amazes my brother wolf, that people will buy the bottled water...he said he looked at some one time that said right on it...from "municipal water supply" of some town, its tap water man, its %!@#%!* tap water.

I told him he oughta open a barbque/grilling biz , he's good at it and seems to enjoy it....we got from there over to fried Rabbit and working a way for it to be legal to sell fried rabbit. I suggested a booth at major flea markets around the country in the good weather season, like at Canton, TX. or the major events like the car show in carlisle pa, or any large crowed stadium area....

He suggested a business where the kids could pet the baby rabbits that were being fed and raised for slaughter...while the parents go to another part of the business to buy the grilled rabbit for food, while another part of the business was a shooting gallery where you charged people to shoot the rabbits that you would then process and grill.

Good idea Wolf, maybe we should do that with Chickens.

District Attorney Bill Peterson Website

Hmmm. What concerns me enough to blog about it is, that after sorting thru all the "how great I am" and spit shine on his image as he would like people to see it...and skipping over the irrelevant fussing letters exchanged between Grisham and Peterson...I finally find a fact that is more to the core of the matter...

"I cannot change the reality that two men were convicted of a crime they did not commit. To that extent, John Grisham's book is based upon actual events. His narrative, however, is riddledwith so many inaccuracies, innuendos..."

What follows and the context of it all, is a pretty boring lawyer-like approach to build a case in favor of Peterson while discrediting Grisham. My opinion..that same cheesy style works with alot of people..its how innocent people can be put in jail by unsuspecting jurys. So let me cut straight thru the crappese and solicit your help because I'm sure I must have missed something here....

#1. That is a heck of a fact to just spill out there..."two men were convicted of a crime they did not commit"...meaning .."I mistakenly prosecuted 2 innocent men, and got them convicted of a crime they did not in fact commit". Now this has NOTHING to do with Grisham...Where is the apology? Seems to me it should've been his HOME page of his website, glossing over something that serious is horrible.



#2. A great deal of thought went into analyzing what went wrong with Grisham's story. Wait a minute! In all the effort and obsession with trying to regain an "image" wouldn't the humble and honorable thing be to be tearing up the rug trying to figure out every possible thing that went wrong leading to these two being convicted wrongfully? To me, Grisham's book is not the focus point. It did us all a favor and brought to light something most of us might not have ever known about. The focal point should be...What errors and screw ups lead the DA to prosecute this case? Was the presumption of innocence bypassed? Were they assumed guilty therefore build a case to fit it? Were witnesses (ie jailhouse snitches) coerced? was bullying done? We the public may never know the truth on that, but I would hope that a prosecuting attorney would really really consider that "the system's" safeguards should NOT be bypassed if they were.

It should have been a website that was a critique of what lead to such a horrible screwup and an impressive and intelligent FIX to help PROTECT us from that ever happening again?

Nope. It appears to be a defense of self, and an attack of Grisham, and an analysis of the book...Who cares man, that aint the issue! That "reality" may not be changeable for the 2 in this case...but that reality needs to be changed for future situations!

So my review? The website is missing the only parts that matter... a suitably fit apology ..and an analytical evaluation and proposed fix for the investigatory methods and thinking and the flawed elements of the justice process that let this happen. If this isn't fixed,...who really cares who wins the Peterson vs. Grisham war? The greater matter should be, how to fix this from ever happening again in Ada, Oklahoma....not a namby pamby he said i said mud slinging argument.

Two fellow citizens of our great nation paid an ENORMOUS price ...not because of Grisham. Fact?

What went wrong? (is that discussed in the website?...isn't it important?)

What is being done to ensure this doesn't happen again?

The website concludes:

"There is a huge difference between apologizing for something and regretting that something happened. Words cannot express how I feel that two men were convicted who later turned out to be factually innocent. To say that I am sorry, sickened, or distraught that it occurred does not begin to explain how I feel. However, in regard to the actions I personally took, I prosecuted a case relying on what I believed to be state of the art science, and relying on law enforcement reports that I believed to be accurate. I did not take any improper action, nor would I ever condone such action by others."

Comment..."does not begin to explain"...well, certainly an attempt should be made I would think.

As for the "However" part. Umm, if everything was done so state of the art and proper, yet something diametrically opposed to truth and justice was the outcome...then we do indeed have a system to worry about I would think.

That statement doesn't reveal any progress on preventing this from happening again.

Staying In Touch

In thinking of telling about my eventful trip where a wrong turn led to meeting quite a few New Jersey folk...they came out on the street to talk to me and watch. I opted to instead tell you about something I just heard about this morning...

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday,
with his wife flying down the following day.

The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted.

The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

*******************************************

To: My Loving Wife

Subject: I've Arrived

Date: March 20, 2007



I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then!

Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

Your loving husband,

P.S. Sure is freaking hot down here.

A closeup snapshot from a day in my youth

"But Mom, these people LIKE me talking to them."

"I'm watching Peter Pan Pajo"

Thats what my little grand-daughter said to me when I popped by Jindians house today. She has tagged me "Pajo" or "Pa Joe" ever since she was old enough to tag. So that will likely be what the whole heard of yet unconceived grandkids will stick with. That little firecracker just oozes enthusiasm , passionate emotion in every expression...giving great illustration to saying someones face just "lit up". So much like her mother years ago.

After sitting back down in my chair to nap AGAIN (its where most of the afternoon was spent)..it is startling to wake up and realize it is already past midnight. So about the time the day light is stretching itself out in just a very few more hours, we'll be heading for Texas, probably be dropping by Las Vegas Sunday afternoon, and then Sunday night in Los Angeles, and most of Monday probably... before heading back. Maybe thats what all this napping is about...just getting ready to run.

Life is good. It has taken some major changes along the way to make it shine, and probably have some more fixing to do to make it shine even brighter..but life is good. Would just kill me to miss out on it.

Hector the Collector

I'm regarded by many as a collector of junk. I say there is a reason for it, it is rooted in how I see stuff.

This poem I used to read often to my kids, and I could read it with very great emotional empathy...

HECTOR THE COLLECTOR
by Shel Silverstein

Hector the Collector
Collected bits of string,
Collected dolls with broken heads
And rusty bells that would not ring.
Pieces out of picture puzzles,
Bent-up nails and ice-cream sticks,
Twists of wires, worn-out tires,
Paper bags and broken bricks.
Old chipped vases, half shoelaces,
Gatlin' guns that wouldn't shoot,
Leaky boats that wouldn't float
And stopped-up horns that wouldn't toot.
Butter knives that had no handles,
Copper keys that fit no locks,
Rings that were too small for fingers,
Dried-up leaves and patched-up socks.
Worn-out belts that had no buckles,
'Lectric trains that had no tracks,
Airplane models, broken bottles,
Three-legged chairs and cups with cracks.
Hector the Collector
Loved these things with all his soul‹
Loved them more than shining diamonds,
Loved them more than glistenin' gold.
Hector called to all the people,
"Come and share my treasure trunk!"
And all the silly sightless people
Came and looked...and called it junk.

Today on Dr. Phil I saw a woman getting really put to test for being a junk collector piling down every room in her house to the point her husband couldn't take it anymore. She said "I don't see it as a pile of junk...but a store room of unfinished projects" and some keepsakes....It didn't appear to me that Dr. Phil picked up on this internal dynamic/revelation though.

I did, cause I could "relate" to much of what the poor fellow collector girl was trying to express. Some of us in this life tend to obsess with not letting go of something we see potential in...if we can just get around to it. I do believe I can organize it and shelve it and store it in ways to allow access and usability or provide interest. What I've seen on talk shows where "collectors" are raked over the coals...the counselors seem to miss something major. If there is a psychological issue here its probably not OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder)...its probably something relevant or functional to the person's not completing projects, or not realistically limiting and selecting projects they can realistically get to.

Now many things are saved to be of use "as needed"..to fix stuff...to do stuff only rarely done...This can prove to be a valuable trait if such a person can obtain or build suitable filing and storage systems like shelves, cabinets, drawers....(if you notice in the photos of dwellings of "collectors of junk"...there is a great deficit of organizational furniture like bookcases, shelving...etc).

My goal is to step by step develop shelving and indexed storage system for those things of value (my collectors items)...and a system for those things "to be available when needed" like tools or spare parts....and a system for "project storage"...where it can clearly be seen that only so many projects can merit my attention. Maybe then and only then can I clearly see which stuffs fit in none of those categories and thereby should be discarded as junk.

A day of Mourning has Commenced

Having just learned that Comic Book Hero Captain America Dies
Mar 7, 1:11 PM EST
I am officially in Mourning.

Those who know my childhood will realize the tremendous weight of this.

Feeling Tired and Lazy

All my life I've fought very hard against laziness...I felt its temptation always biting at me and me working all the harder to make sure I wasn't "lazy".
But now, closing the first half century in a few more years....I'm afraid its caught me. I accept that as descriptive, but I accept it with annoyance, disappointment and confusion . But alas....I'm starting to really believe that I have become lazy.

That may not mean much to some, but think about it from my view...the fight against laziness is what compelled me all those years thru some pretty impossibly hard times, i kept fighting against laziness with effort I can't now imagine. Yet these days, like a bird entangled in thick ivy, I've become entangled in the trappings of laziness. I feel as if I've GOT to break free of its hold and get after life again...but I'm tired, so tired, and achy in the bones. But maybe I'm tired because I've let my stamina/energy deteriorate (out of laziness)....laziness has very tangly tricky tentacles.

Now we did travel like 7000 miles last week and get in only 2 nights ago, both of which we had a lot of catching up to do with that little 5 year old.
And I did take a nasty fall from about 3 foot up just as I was getting the last things to put in the car for heading home. Landing on the back of my head with what came dang near to being one of them internal inguinal hernia thingys....but its GREATLY improved now , though I still feel sore and stiff in my legs and arms. And that being overweight business is putting strain on my frame and joints as well....another area needing attention *sigh*, ...so got a lot of things i need to "whip into shape" to get to where i feel like "whipping things into shape". Think about that one. But I'm happy...and intent on staying that way.

My 5 year old teaching the dog to obey

There my youngen stood with her back to me, a ways out in the front yard, not knowing I was just down the hill watchin her...she was focused on the neighbors dog that always visits her...and she was swatting it on the flank because it just wasn't doing what she was commanding it, she was trying to encourage it.."C'mon come here" and then coming back to swat it (pretty gingerly for the reader concerned with that "swatting" bit.)

Aint that something. I can't get her to close the door or pick up her stuff, but SHES gonna swat that dog into doing something she commands. ROFL...maybe she'll have better luck getting her charge to comply than I do.

I wonder sometimes if thats not how God feels on occasion, overlooking His "creatures".

TIME TO GO, AGAIN

WOW...time has passed too quickly as usual. I've heard it said that Charles Frances Adams, a 19th century diplomat, wrote in his diary one day, “Took my boy fishing today. A wasted day.” His son, Brook Adams, wrote in his diary the same day, “Went fishing today with my father. Greatest day of my life.” Thursday I listened to my little Grace Kelly, who will be rounding the corner to that 6th birthday later this year...she wanted to go with me to see where I planned on putting a goat to work cleaning up down the hill from the pond.

Once there, looking at the pond, she decidedly and definitely wanted to go fishing. We trudged (well, I'm the old tired one that "trudged"...she seemed more "to glide") back up to the house, grabbed the fishing pole bucket (containing her rod and reel and mine and some tackle) and back to the pond. It was AMAZING. Her line already had artificial bait on it, she walked right down to the water edge and cast that thing out there a good 15 yards or more and begin working it back in. This went on for probably near an hour,...never once asking for assistance. I put a short padded stool behind her, she thanked me without being distracted, and sat on it, keeping her eye on the line.

She finally decided the fish just weren't biting so she reeled it in and stuck the pole back in the bucket and was ready to head for the house. I was amazed, it was like fishing with an adult.
Even though she had been running a low fever that morning, and had a croupy cough from time to time...she kept at full functioning till we got back to the house. I kicked back in my recliner and she promptly found a comfortable spot in my lap and we just rested peacefully for quite awhile before we got visiting so actively about something or another that any chance of sleep was gone.

Then Friday was busy with must-do errands and zap, the time off was gone. I just can't see that time Thursday as "a wasted day"...it was priceless. (Now SHE might have put "went fishing with my dad, a wasted day."...Ha, ya just never know...but as for me, it was a great time).

Some of the greatest moments in life come from giving of our time or self with focus on something someone else needs. I remember one 5-year old boy that understood giving...the story was told by a hospital volunteer....

The volunteer said she got to know a little girl, a patient named Liz, who was suffering from a rare and serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother. He had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the disease.

The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. The boy hesitated for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, “Yes, I’ll do it, if it will save her.”

As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, seeing the color returning to her cheeks. Then his face grew pale, and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, “Will I start to die right away?”

Being young, the boy had misunderstood the doctor. He understood it to mean he was going to need to give his sister his blood , (All of it). "Yes, I'll do it, if it will save her".

It seems that "giving" ...whether its our time or even our blood...is a natural part of loving. Its not the "things" we buy and give that make life rich...its the giving, its the love.

The other day after battling thru traffic in Washington DC and Baltimore, and was headed into even more congested New Jersey turnpike...a van pulled up beside me and a smiling pretty faced young lady looked at me and held up a simple typing paper size home made sign that said only "DON'T WORRY, BE HAPPY" ...ahhh, It sure touched my heart, lifted my thoughts from task to smiling. Little things people do...little things I can do....little things you can do.

I'll close out and finish getting ready to go leaving you with just one more example that I read about in somebody else's life....

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less,
a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and
sat at a table.

A waitress put a glass of water in
front of him."How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked.

"Fifty cents," replied the waitress.

The little boy pulled is hand out of his pocket and
studied the coins in it.

"Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired.

By now other people had come in and were waiting for a table and the
waitress was growing impatient. "Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied.

The little boy again counted his coins. "I'll have the plain ice cream," he said.

The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on
the table and walked away.

The boy finished the ice-cream, paid the cashier and left.

When the waitress had started clearing the table , she picked up the empty dish, and began to cry... There, placed neatly beside the empty dish,
were two nickels and five pennies..

In counting out what he was going to be able to buy himself, he made sure he had enough left to leave the lady a tip.

‘Ach, I Dunno!’

I’m simply surrounded by lovers,
Since Da made his fortune in land;
They’re comin’ in crowds like the plovers
To ax for me hand.
There’s clerks and policemen and teachers,
Some sandy, some black as a crow;
Ma says ye get used to the creatures,
But, ach, I dunno!

The convent is in a commotion
To think of me taking a spouse,
And they wonder I hadn’t the notion
Of taking the vows.
‘Tis a beautiful life and a quiet,
And keeps ye from going below,
As a girl I thought I might try it,
But, ach, I dunno!

I’ve none but meself to look after,
An’ marriage it fills me with fears,
I think I’d have less of the laughter
And more of the tears.
I’ll not be a slave like me mother,
With six of us all in a row,
Even one little baby’s a bother,
But, ach, I dunno!

There’s a lad that has taken me fancy,
I know he’s a bit of a limb,
And though marriage is terrible chancy,
I’d -- chance it with him.
He’s coming to-night -- oh -- I tingle,
From the top of me head to me toe,
I’ll tell him I’d rather live single,
But, ach, I dunno!


A good old Irish song by Percy French (1854-1920)

These two posts conclude my "poetry selection" for awhile but these are a couple of writings I enjoy.

The Drunkard's Child

He stood beside his dying child,
With a dim and bloodshot eye;
They'd won him from the haunts of vice
To see his first-born die.
He came with a slow and staggering tread,
A vague, unmeaning stare,
And, reeling, clasped the clammy hand,
So deathly pale and fair.

In a dark and gloomy chamber,
Life ebbing fast away,
On a coarse and wretched pallet,
The dying sufferer lay:
A smile of recognition
Lit up the glazing eye;
"I'm very glad," it seemed to say,
"You've come to see me die."

That smile reached to his callous heart,
It sealed fountains stirred;
He tried to speak, but on his lips
Faltered and died each word.
And burning tears like rain
Poured down his bloated face,
Where guilt, remorse and shame
Had scathed, and left their trace.

"My father!" said the dying child,
(His voice was faint and low,)
"Oh! clasp me closely to your heart,
And kiss me ere I go.
Bright angels beckon me away,
To the holy city fair --
Oh! tell me, Father, ere I go,
Say, will you meet me there?"

He clasped him to his throbbing heart,
"I will! I will!" he said;
His pleading ceased -- the father held
His first-born and his dead!
The marble brow, with golden curls,
Lay lifeless on his breast;
Like sunbeams on the distant clouds
Which line the gorgeous west.


Original text: Frances Ellen Watkins, Poems on Miscellaneous Subjects (Boston: J. B. Yerrinton, 1854)


Click and save the RPO LINK to have a really handy place to find poems.

The expression "My nerves are just gone"

What did he mean "my nerves are just gone"? Mrs Beans explained what she thought that meant with an example.."just like that music when we first went into taco bell tonight... " (interrupt to clarify...."you didn't like that music?") she continued... "I didn't say I didn't like it, I just couldn't take it, it was just in my head, it was very uncomfortable "...(and she trailed off with a "yikes" expression of someone whose "nerves are shot" but they are having to suffer the irritant anyway...)

Maybe, maybe thats what my greatgrandpa meant? He shared that with me when he was about 93 when I mentioned some activity involving a group of kids. "my nerves are just gone, I don't have any left". Any enhancing or clarifying visual cues into his meaning would only include him leaning into the message, with a serious "its a fact I've just accepted" look.

I reflect often on times we spent together. Picturing his expressions and remembering things he said or did. Wow, what an experience to have had in my life! Having the chance to be an adult and yet talk with your GREAT Grandfather...who is at that point already into his 90's by a few years. Nineties! And the years he lived in were quite a bit different! He has always been with me reminding me to see life as "comfortable", a place with laughter and orneriness and kindness.

He was always a kind, laugh-easy guy...to be sure, there was definitely an irish side of him that could harden up like a purposed steel tool and be downright mad...but that was seldom seen these days..mostly now just his playful orneryness that always had his eye cocked up and his tongue sticking out thru smiling lips, sheer glee in his eyes, glee and active orneriness!

That Randy Travis song about his grandpa , "I thought he walked on water" was SO about my great-grandpa in my eyes! That song captures it, I can "feel" it as if it were my heart singing it. (Right down to the part.."my momma's daddy was his oldest son")

I well remember a time back when I was still in the small end of single digits being in the bathroom, and upon finishing up decided to use that shaver I spotted on my way in there, and I climbed up on the counter quietly, so i could be next to the medicine cabinet- mirror and I was "shaving" like a grown up.

Just as I nicked my earlobe (just enough to bleed ) I could hear his voice reaching all the way in there from the other room..."you're not shaving are you?" and explained with some worry in your voice that I wasn't to do that. "No" I replied, thinking silently..."not anymore".
I was quiet too! But that man, he just "knew" stuff.

When I came out of the bathroom, he was ready and waiting on me, we were going to the store. He was enjoying having some time just he and his great grandson, he let me drive some of the way,...sitting in his lap with him kinda keeping his hands ready on the wheel.

In the rear-view mirror I saw him and he looked eye to eye with me pointing at the little shaving nick. His eyes were sparkling and gleeful and fired by orneriness..a big "I gotcha" smile...He didn't even ask about the blood dotted tissue paper wadding I had sticking to my ear. He knew. Somehow that didn't surprise me.

From deep within him he was kind. You could see that, clearly. We were headed to the store to get "Pixley" sticks...thats what I thought they had said, and it was years later before I realized that those were "Pixie" sticks. Man, being in the town called "Pixley", I was anxious to get some Fresh made Pixley sticks! He never corrected me. If he had been saying it right in the past, he now called them Pixley sticks.

We went from there, just down the street a short ways...to his son's car lot. Here I met my "Uncle Pete". I gotta tell ya about my much loved Uncle Pete another time,...and how he had been ornery & lovin it even on our first occasion to meet, though I didn't realize that till later.

Fast forwarding till I'm in my 30's, I'm now sitting there in a chair near him so he can hear me easier and I can see his eyes when we talk..at this point in his 90's but still living on his own in a semi- assisted apartment. When he spoke, I listened.

"My nerves are just, gone....i don't have any left." Is this the same as "my nerves are SHOT!?"...or is it something different entirely that I may not experience till I'm in my 90's ? Maybe how Mrs. Beans defined it "i didn't say I didn't like it, I just couldn't take it"...is precisely it. That would explain why many of the elderly find solitude in quiet dimly lit homes...cutting way down on all the sensory input.

WHY ISN'T IT DONE?

Thoughts that keep coming back like a bad dream....I keep thinking about the upper cabinet sitting in the kitchen by the fridge, still needing hung. I know thats one of those things shes looking forward to me doing and will be very thankful for, (so yeah i feel pressured to do it, guilty for putting it off).

With the cabinet already bought and already taken out of the box and brought into the kitchen, the next step is actually not overwhelming...roughly mark a measure on the wall the width on the cabinet, locate the two studs within that width...mark the wall with a straight edge the two lines showing the center of the studs...high to low, above and below where the cabinet will be...

Probably have to get out my tape measure, pencils and maybe framing square and stud sensor (if i can get the stupid thing to tell the truth...it has trouble doing that on simple walls, just going thru the sheetrock...and this one is tougher with 3/4" wood on top of the sheetrock on top of the studs). And bring in the stepstool...and do it.

"The next step"..is That easy. I believed that any project, once divided into baby steps, is virtually completed and certainly should require very little motivation... since each step is manageable and not excessively demanding. In fact that being done, it should make the task pull up enthusiasm, almost excitement, completion is simple or at least very doable...but definitely nothing to dread or procrastinate without cause.

So why is it still undone? Why is it still undone? Self Analysis time? Sure...I need to digin and really evaluate this...

...anything to put off going in there and hanging that cabinet.

Relationships can be enjoyed EXAMPLE #214

Trying to figure out where shes's going to put that armload of boxes she labors towards the door with I have to ask ..."Are you sitting those boxes out there for me to burn?" The reply was sudden, a Startlingly abrubt "No!" , not as if it was shouted, more like it was seriously determined..an unspoken but clear.. "you are not to burn these, these are going to recycling bin".

Interesting the abruptness (determined)...i guess really into this recycling thing and so independently carrying it out from instigation to collection to transporting, completing the process provides her a good boost in self image for some reason, so I chuckle silently to myself.

I find enjoyment in seeing that she is having good satisfaction from it all. As I picture her loading it all up and stretching out the little net thing she bought for the purpose, and then see her at the wheel as the smoky old truck rattles up the driveway as she heads for the bins 6-8 minutes away.

Silently I think about it being easier on me since burning cardboard boxes ya gotta stick around and knock down the floaters ...or at least keep an eye on them...so its ok that shes not putting them into my to-be-burned pile....

I think about how to respond to her emphatic response in a way to aknowledge that her strong wish is heard and will be complied with/granted/honored. And at the same time, will explain that my laughing is in no way a bad thing. It is just one of those uniqueties of hers that tickles me that she gets so protective of her labors in this recycling effort.

What is interesting is that its not about the merits of recycling ecology or pollution wise..in the way she thinks. Its about "wasted usefulness". By the fact that somebody is willing to do something with it, shes happy to help them, happy to provide something for them, so in that way she was able to find a "useful" purpose for it instead of giving it up to be burned in the trash. Thats reserved for things that went beyond her finding some other use for.

So later, even if I am outside burning the trash, and time and opportunity to burn those boxes presents itself...I wouldn't dare. That would take away from a project start to finish she enjoys and esteems being a part of. Don't take that away, it wouldn't be "helping"...besides all that it would seem logical if it made her mad, if she saw it as a flagrant lack of respect for her right to have room to do her things her way.

The Dentist is Danged , I think.

To avoid giving much weight to my complaint with the dentist as to how painful versus gentle....it must be considered that I've not had a cap/crown put on ever before or elsewhere so there is nothing to compare my dentist with in my mind, except the "ideal" situation I might have expected.

...but dang, I'm tired of that guy hurting my mouth!...and making it seem a shock that its so painful...like i'm some sort of pansy...dang, im gonna at least see if there isn't somebody more into pain relief and what not..and I hope its a different world out there!

Well...he says if treated right the cap/crown ought to last 20 years or better....(oh great..i gotta go thru this again at that OLDER age?). If all else had been perfect in life I might have said hey, its a good time to afford and deal with challenges with benefits..so heres what do, pull that tooth, send me to an oral surgeon, get an implant, and have a tooth made. ..That should be for life, replacing a worn out tooth on an implant shouldn't be of any discomfort at all...unscrew it, replace it.

Maybe he was telling the truth this time, its not going to be painful enough to justify pain medicine...(darn)...(and yet..Yay!)...Uncomfortable right now, and probably will be when I eat, going to delay chewing too much over there till its not so sensitive. I feel ALOT of discomfort and distracting but light constant pain as the number is wearing off. Well..maybe this is done.

This started and got its temporary while I was insured...and got finished with permanent while I was uninsured...should be covered, nothing would surprise me...Either gotta get that Cobra plan going or get them on the ball at the new co. for their "immediate coverage"...but the deductible will have to be met anyhow...maybe it would be cheaper to just pay the actual costs instead of cobra...for the stuff between last company and onset at this one.

Got the pleasant sound coming from the kitchen that sounds like someone else is taking care of fixing dinner tonight...and that means some good eatings...at least on one side of my mouth.

Thoughts in Random Order

Lots of little thoughts passing thru...jotting them down...

*Struggling with 16kbps will hopefully end soon, since we'll hopefully be home much more now, the order for dsl has been placed. Not a bad price...only about $9 a month more than dialup...for the next to fastest dsl speed. They "Say" its available on our phone line...we'll see how that works. Got my fingers crossed.

*When is an addiction into the "fix it now" urgent stage? When we find we keep at it despite the negative, sometimes even horrendous consequences.

*You want to pass a truly useful law? Make Organ Donor the "default" status...and only those who exception out of it will not be organ donors. (Requiring a simple entry into the Non Donor Registry). And if it is important that you NOT be an organ donor, that is no problem, (however nobody listed in the non-donor-registry will be eligible for a donated organ should they need one...we wouldn't want to go against their deep seated beliefs now).

*Travel to and fro thru out the entire USA...it is no longer a matter of making sure each of the 48 have been visited...at this point I've lost track of how MANY times we've visited each one. What have I seen? People. People living here, there, up the hill, down in the valley, near the towns, far out in the country..little houses, big houses, campers, slums, mansions.

People all over the place, some of them hurrying...some just waiting, some oblivious to life and events happening even right behind them or in front of them. Probably most all of them thinking about their to-do list, or regretting something they've done, or wanting, dreaming, wishing, praising, griping. People.

So your little piece of life, it is yours, your turn and your space...and my turn and my space...we all get to draw whatever we want on our own etch-a-sketch, its up to us what we choose to paint on our canvas because it belongs only to us... and we don't have to copy the fancy neighbors, and we don't have to give heed to ill tempered critics...Determined not to enjoy life? So be it...but nobody out there has a right to decree your life be awful...you're a people too. So if you got somebody out there just crapping all over your existence...take them off their "pedastal" in your eyes...they , like millions of others..are just people.

*Maybe I could just live on Ritz crackers? Buttery, bready, crispy...but I AVOID buying them because if I buy a box...I'll eat the whole box within a day ...at the most 2 days.

*Healthy Alternatives always seem to offer much much less pleasure and flavor...I'm REALLY going to be ticked at some people if in my last days of life after I can no longer taste...it is discovered that what we SHOULD be eating is the food our cravings tell us to eat!

* A strange sign of our culture and era that I saw in a workplace a few weeks ago..."Smoking in designated areas only! Violation of this policy could result in progressive discipline".

*While waiting on my plane the other day, (and having several hours for that), I watched a crazy assortment of people. With my hearing loss and the accoustics in there...when people would talk it sounded like buzzing and utterings similar to those found in a SIMS game...or for you old timers...kind of like Charlie Brown's teacher sounded. As one group boarded their plane, the near to last guy on..noticed that someone had laid their newspaper down to abandon it...he turned from the counter and grabbed it up with great purpose and it seemed like that made him feel as if his life was a bit charmed with good fate. Interesting.

OK...think I got all that out of my system now, thanks.

Officer keeping up on foot even as needle passes 50mph

"In most of the United States, there is a policy of checking on any stalled vehicle on the highway when the temperatures drop down to single digits or below.

About 3 AM, one very cold morning, Trooper Allan Nixon responded to a call there was a car off the shoulder of the road outside Shattuck .

He located the car, stuck in deep snow, and with the engine still running. Pulling in behind the car with his emergency lights on, the Trooper walked to the driver's door to find an older man passed out behind the wheel with a nearly empty vodka bottle on he seat beside him.
The driver came awake when the Trooper tapped on the window.
Seeing the rotating lights in his rearview mirror, and the State Trooper standing next to his car, the man panicked.

He jerked the gearshift into 'drive' and hit the gas.
The car's speedometer was showing 20-30-40 and then 50 mph, but it was still stuck in the snow, wheels spinning.

Trooper Nixon, having a sense of humor, began running in place next to the speeding, but still stationary car.
The driver was totally freaked, thinking the Trooper was actually keeping up with him. This goes on for about 30 seconds, then the Trooper yelled, "Pull over!"
The man obeyed, turned his wheel and stopped the engine.
Needless to say, the man from Dumas, Texas was arrested, and is probably still shaking his head over the State Trooper in Oklahoma who could run 50 miles per hour."

Is it true? Well now I haven't found any substantiation for this in news searches or court records, nor have I found any reference to an OHP officer fitting this identity but nonetheless...I read it on the internet, so surely it must be wouldn't ya think?

Blown Engines and Airport Nudity

A week goes by without even logging into the internet, but that doesn't mean it was uneventful. We found ourselves up in Cedar Rapids, Ia. ready to head for home when our car "blew up". Cracked a block, blew a head gasket..whatever...the bottom line was, Oil entering the radiator, lots of very very white smoke as a strange liquid oozed onto the engine, and a really stinky heater/defroster.

Well, calling around to the whole list of rental car companies in that city didn't do any good..they were ALL out of cars. The only thing available was from "Rent a Wreck" which is pretty cool...its just an older vehicle than the name brand rental places. They were able to fix us up, but the drawback...it had to be returned to the same place. Uggh,,..so we got it, got our stuff home, and then took it back...leaving me the need to get home. Thanks to a suggestion by Marbella, Cheaptickets.com proved very helpful.

It has been years, maybe decades, since I had flown public airlines, but based on things picked up here and there in the media, going "prepared" was somewhat easier. Leaving all my keys and pocket knife and anything metal at home, having no luggage, but still feeling like Columbo...going thru from point A to B to C was gradually & successfully progressing, until...

Now before we get to the security scan, there is already some apprehension, since the LAST time I went thru one of those I got escorted into a private security interview room where they just about put me in jail for not remembering that in my carry-on was a cap pistol and holster that I had bought at the last minute for my son before heading to the Oklahoma City airport. (They didn't allow such things to be purchased in California where the boy awaited eagerly). After sweating it out, that story eventually ended up with me placing the gift in a separate box and sending it thru in the cargo hold.

...so here again as I step up to the plate, they have me put my watch and anything metal in the pan...done. Feeling smug about having to put only a watch and a pair of reading glasses in the trough, they then tell me to take off my coat and put it on the same conveyor to be scanned. I complied. But its obvious I'm kind of "Gee...am I going to have to strip?" when she makes some comments about the snaps on my overalls and says "now your shoes".

Thinking she was reading my mind I laughed and said "Yeah! Thats probably next"...but she stood there waiting. As she stood there, it slowly began to dawn on me that she MIGHT be serious? I laughed and just incredulously asked "are you SERIOUS?"...she was. (As I took those shoes off it seemed ironic that this was a SECURITY checkpoint for the safety and well being of others...even with odor eater sprays those shoes were best left on unless removed outdoors).

At this point I'm really getting concerned about my overalls, but remembering that I had boxers on was a bit comforting. After going thru the x-ray thingy they tell me I'd been selected for some closer screening. So they lead me off to the side and "pat me down" and take a closer look at my few belongings. (Someone explained to me this was because I had bought my ticket and departed within a 24 hour period).

Finally getting home and still not unpacked from unloading the rent a wreck, spending some time with little Grace and taking Mrs. Beans out for a birthday dinner, watching some episodes from the original Star Trek series...and went to bed.

So before the house cleaning and stuff organizing gets started today..finally time to catch up just a little on this computer. Quickly checking the television ..uggh...politicking and campaign trails have begun...with one candidate proudly proclaiming that "yeah" she voted for giving the president blah blah blah, but had she known then what she knows now she would NOT have"...I'm thinking, WOW...heres a chance to elect someone for president who can't see far ahead but can make definite judgements "after the fact" on how she would have done things different...Time to turn the TV off, or put in another DVD.

Tomorrow the process begins into the new job.

I FIRED 2 PEOPLE TODAY THAT WERE REBELLING

Ever since many years ago, experience has taught me to never get mad at your job and quit both in the same day. If you want to quit, fine, but do it tomorrow or a week from now...but make sure its not a spur of the minute rash decision by just making it "your policy" to never quit the same day you decide to. That has worked well for me. You can adapt it if you have the need.

But then again, honestly assess things. After over 3 years with our current employer our liason with the company was quite surprised when I told him today it was time to wrap things up...we were done. After itemizing a few things that were contributing issues to the decision, there was one item that kept appearing on my work list from time to time...that
never was something I wanted to do or enjoyed doing. So I just spoke plainly, non-contentiously....

"I've made up my mind that today was the last time I was going to do that. There is no money in it and it sucks. I'm pretty sure that this is NOT a position the company can tolerate...which is fine, perfectly understandable. Thats not up to me, but I've made a personal decision in my career/life/interests and that it just isn't going to be a part of my job anymore".

So I assured him that we would finish our current assignments, but that after this weekend we needed to come into the office and wrap this up.

There are quite a few companies we're considering at the moment, all with different variations of pluses and minuses...and having spent alot of time this past few months identifying what plus/minus was important to us, matching up with the situation that comes the closest is where my focus will be over the next several days...But in the meantime, we've got alot of work to do this weekend.

We left Albany New York earlier this afternoon, we'll be visiting Carlisle Pennsylvania this evening, North Vernon Indiana in the morning, then another town nearby, then on to Cinnaminson New Jersey for Sunday early I hope, and then McCook Illinois for Monday morning. Then stop in at our second "home" up in Iowa and "it is finished".

Though I'm tempted to take a couple months off, things are progressed enough in the decision making progress, we'll probably not be off very long at all...but life will be one step closer to being more to our liking! It's long been my belief that if life isn't like you want it to be, fix it.

A TEMPORARY KING'S PERSPECTIVE

There is a "plus" side to a lottery ticket being a totally losing ticket...the collection process is completely done away with. No reading the directions for the address to mail it to, no buying and sticking on a stamp, no worrying about whether or not it will arrive safely, no going back in the store with it and waiting in line, no driving to the headquarters to collect in person, no "new friends" with pitiful heart ripping needs, no increased tax burden...nada, nothing, zip...and the scratched off ticket isn't one of those things you have to wonder if you should save it or toss it...and no need to worry about where/how to file it so it can be found. The deal is done, quick, simple, and into the trash and on with your day.

The "negative" side of listening to the news is...hearing how an El Paso US prosecutor and Homeland Security (aka "KGB"), (both of which could likely have lucrative deals with the Mexican drug dealers for either a supply of drugs or a cut of the money) have seen to it that 2 border patrol agents are prosecuted and put in prison for over a decade each for stopping a non-citizen from illegally entering the country, with a van load of drugs. How dare they pursue him...that violates border patrol policy...they are supposed to just politely ask them to stop...I'd be surprised if they were allowed to use a megaphone, it might infringe on the non-citizens "civil rights as granted to the citizens of the United States". What is it called when an officer fires a shot at a fleeing suspect who just before crossing into Mexico, turns with a shiny object in his hand that appears to be a weapon? The prosecutor called the Border Patrol's action "assault with a deadly weapon" and a "violation" of the non-citizen fleeing criminal's "civil rights".

The "negative" side of listening to the news is...hearing how a truck driver, road weary and knowing he needed to pull over, finding all the rest areas and places to park already taken...pulls off on the shoulder of a ramp. When an impaired driver leaves the highway at over 90mph and crashes into the back of the semi trailer, the police promptly impound the truck, and arrest the truck driver, charging him with felony manslaughter.

Then there is John Grisham's book "innocent man" that reveals explicit details how a DA named Peterson in a small community in Oklahoma puts an innocent man on DEATH ROW forcing the persuasion of the jury thru coerced or even fabricated "evidence" ...and yet, he's still DA ? I'm thinking the "justice" of wrongly causing a man to be on Death Row would most naturally be punished by ...the death penalty. But, it doesn't appear he is even going to be disbarred or fired...even though I'm told that he cost that little community a lot of money in an undisclosed civil suit settlement (if it is our tax dollars, how is it "undisclosed" ?) he still has his job...and faces quite a different circumstance of life than the border patrol agents or the truck driver.

"If I were President"..."If I were king for a day"....I'd be dragging a press corp around with me and maybe Donald Trump, (But if Rosie comes she'd have to ride in a different car)...we'd be firing, exposing, disbarring, exonerating, pardoning..."FIXING AMERICA"...and the Iraq war that is slugging away at armed terrorists and evil cold blooded killers of innocent women and children...I'd be sending 250,000 more troops instead of 20-30 thousand and those whiney near sighted politicians that have to wait on the poll results before determining what they stand for...would just have to return whatever financial backing they surely must be getting from the enemy, and whine all the way home to their mama's because I just flat wouldn't have the patience to put up with their nonsense.

And any news media caught sympathizing with the enemy and demoralizing the troops? I'd eminent domain their property to put in more Wal-Marts and amusement parks and casinos. Hate-mongers like Al Gore? They'd be stripped of their citizenship and given a small boat...which the Coast Guard would haul out to international waters and they'd be waved at, and warned they'd be shot if they came back into US territory. There are some other things I'd do to clean up and FIX America, one of many would be Empty the jails/prisons of non-criminals...fill it back with people who are criminals indeed.

After calling up Ollie North and turning the presidency over to him, and the vice presidency over to Ms. Rice...(don't get all feminist on me, she doesn't WANT the presidency)...then I'd stop by the Deal or No Deal show and choose suitcase 17.

That would be enough for one day.

ON THE ROAD AGAIN

With the help of a sledge hammer and a hatchet to break ice away, we finally got all hitched up and out of town (which required chains at one point for about 5 feet), and the journey has begun. Not including any pictures today, seen enough ice to last quite awhile without having to see more of it in picture form. The roads for the most part have been ok.

Seeing as how the storm has left us, guess we'll run up towards Indianapolis and see if we can't catch up with it. Ordered a new pair of glasses this morning...and told that young girl that getting older sure had a good side, I could pick glasses based on comfort and durability, with pretty much total disregard for how snazzy they looked.

Hard to believe its the 16th day of the year already, even harder to believe we're just getting rolling but that ILD was about all we needed to be handling that first couple weeks. Sure relieved Mrs. Beans pulled out of that one so well, seems to be in much better health already than most all of last year.

My tooth with its temporary crown/cap is still pretty dang uncomfortable, wonder if the whole pain thing will begin again on the 5th when they pull the temporary and install the permanent? Hopefully when K goes thru this same process this week or next, it won't be so bad...I already warned him to get the script for the pain pills BEFORE he leaves the dentist, and already have em soaking in his belly before the number stuff thaws out. Hope he does that, if so he'll miss out on standing in the line at the walmart pharmacy with beads of sweat Popping out...on a cool day. Just out of shear dee-ole pain.

Ole Sam's been working for a couple weeks now, so far so good. Haven't heard from Wolf today...so thats probably meaning he's still out of spending money...which usually is alot easier on his liver..but I don't hear from him as often. Sure wanted to stop in and visit with Marbella again before we headed out on this journey, and return her glass pie plate.

Found and delivered a box Pocahontas packed when she was about 8 or 9, like a time capsule for her going thru it, she found old diaries she was working on in 2cnd grade that occasionally had a page with just a brief entry "I've been rather busy, no time to write". Wow, that reminds me of a recent post of anamnesis about a goldfish that a person should put on their walls for reference. Of course instead of the bit about the castle we could write "be rather busy".

POND IS FREEZING OVER

  Wonder if the huge bass in the pond survived the summer drought and now the winter icing over?

ICY HOMEPLACE

  The fenceline in this shot doesn't look too good. Thunder is rolling in the distance, and ice is falling from the sky in a surprising variety of sizes and shapes. Even the blades of grass are individually encased in a layer of ice, like the limbs and tiny leaf holding branches of trees...and the power lines..which so far have been holding.

YIKES

The ice is here and coming on strong. Being in an all electric house is not a good thing sometimes. So I'm off to shower and ready ourselves for plan 2...since I fully expect to lose the juice anytime today or tonight. Stay warm and dry if you can. Winter has just begun.

MAKING CHANGES IN LIFE

Lots of people realize they need to make some changes but that is where the progress stops. Throw in a series of new year resolutions, sit back to relax feeling good about having the matter resolved. Yet no progress is made.

MOMS ADVICE ON DEALING WITH IMPORTANT DECISIONS...

"What are you wanting out of life?
What are you getting out of life?
what changes need made to get that result?"

Good common sense facts there. Thats a key part of making the decisions, the next part is...MAKE THOSE CHANGES. I remember telling people in several business meetings (though it wasn't an original idea).."If you keep doing the same old things, the same old way..don't be surprised that you keep getting the same old results".

Now that is usually applied to the fact that "different results are needed", so ya gotta change the ingredients. But its true the other way too, theres a whole lot of times things are just the way ya like them ...be careful not to mess with THOSE ingredients!

No new years resolutions here...those haven't proved helpful. There is a poster on my wall with some really key things I wanted to get done...I looked at it the other day and realized NONE of those have been done...didn't really disturb me TOO much, until i noticed it was dated June 2005. Sheesh, need to change that. So I've been giving thought to what kind of changes I needed to make at work and in my time at home time management to bring that about. Then dividing that up into "baby steps" so I can implement the steps to changes.

Though I don't usually recommend products...this one I've used in the past to help me "get it all together" and it was VERY valuable...so I ordered it and installed it and am using it again..its a journal program that is simple and awesome. You can start using it right away and learn more of its potential as you go. Be sure to make backups (a click of a button) and if you ever have to restore your computer ..zap..your journal of events past present and future are right there.

"Make sure that your daily action list is in line with your true goals and values. All of us have things in life we don't enjoy, but which are important. Life becomes chaotic and crises occur when we don't 'manage' our lives - by taking out the trash, washing our clothes, having regular medical checkups, pay our bills, etc.

But it's time for a major re-evaluation of your life if you find most hours of most days filled with dreaded 'oughts'..."

That quote is one small clip from a really good article titled "Using a Day Planner as a Life Planner" by Kathleen G. Nadeau, Ph.Dan ADD.

Helpful ways to implement "making the changes" in mom's quote at the start of this blog.

Arava or Leflunomide Respiratory side affects

Unfortunately this particular post is more lengthy and technical in nature and may not be something the average reader is interested in, but I'm "telling our story" in hopes others who may need it, can search and find it....

In the disease Rheumatoid arthritis , certain parts of a person's immune system not only fight against disease, but fight against the person too. The affect is deterioration of bone in joints, up to the point of crippling and deforming, and swelling and inflammation that results in sometimes extreme and/or endless pain.

Drugs like Arava (and its generic, Leflunomide), are used to hinder these parts of the immune system from damaging and destroying...and in thousands and thousands of cases have brought a slowdown or even stop to the deterioration of bone, and relief from the pain. The claim they make is ...

"Arava proved to reduce signs and symptoms including morning stiffness and the number of tender and swollen joints. Patients in the controlled trials experienced significant improvements in physical function, such as gripping, reaching, walking, dressing, and rising from a chair. Feet and hand x-rays of those taking Arava in the trials showed that Arava can also slow down joint damage caused by the disease. "

As usual...there are possible undesirable side affects. With Arava the ones that seem more common include hair thinning/loss, diarrhea, elevated liver enzymes, and rash.

In the first quarter of last year when the doc added ARAVA to Mrs. Bean's regime of medications , the only adverse things experienced were small little spots of rash on many of her joints, and some hair thinning..but she was experiencing relief...there was little to no swelling and pain in the joints.

While the RA doc was mindful to keep a check on Mrs. Bean's blood for possible liver damage...What angers me is that nowhere in the process of starting her on this drug was it mentioned..."hey, there is another rare but potentially DEADLY side affect to this drug that it has a history of to watch out for...so if you start dealing with alot of odd respiratory issues...you need to be on guard and possibly reduce or discontinue this drug immediately"...

As summer began, several months had passed, long enough for us to no longer be connecting cause/effect,...when she developed a hard cough that was difficult to diagnose, all her blood counts and oxygen was fine and lungs on the xrays were clear but yet the cough persisted, violently. Finally after a visit to a pulmonary specialist, it was surmised that it was whooping cough..and that may be, since the times between coughing fits, she was perfectly fine, but when they would come on, they were extremely severe.

The summer and early fall, meant about 100 days of the harsh coughing before it would come to an end, though a nagging cough continued to appear. A few months later bringing us to my last post when, as we were mindful of the coming new year...

...it welcomed us with another onset of severe coughing and very little lung capacity to breathe in air, and based on a chest X-ray in ER she was diagnosed with bronchitis, they saw congestion in the bronchi but not in the lungs, so they sent her on her way with cough suppressant and a 5day zpack of strong antibiotic.

Fortunately 5 days later we went to our regular doctor and he ordered a contrast-enhanced CT scan angio pulmonary, it showed significant bilateral pulmonary infiltrate. She was given a shot of cortisone and the doctor changed her antibiotic medication to avelox and a generic for Bactrim DS...but none of it was making sense, she didn't have the normal symptoms or detection markers of common pneumonia.

That night I spent my night doing an immediate very intense research of all the facts available, and uncovered a common bond that she had with some other people using Arava...I'll share some of those here for the sake of others, because though this reaction to Arava does seem to be very rare...for those few, correctly identifying the source of the problem could make the difference between life and death. Information we were unaware of...

An excerpt from around 2002 in a carefully documented study published in Brazil in a Journal of Pulmonology....

"...We report the case of a 33-year-old female patient who presented with chest pain, weight loss and pulmonary infectious syndrome during the fifth month of monotherapy with leflunomide for rheumatoid arthritis, which advanced to respiratory insufficiency in the sixth month. Radiologic findings revealed pulmonary infiltrates in the interstice, as well as bilateral alveolar infiltrates (mainly in the upper and middle lobes) and scattered micronodules. However, no mediastinal abnormalities were detected. Leflunomide was suspended... After four months, the condition spontaneously and completely resolved, suggesting that the pulmonary complications seen in this case resulted from the use of leflunomide. "

Another reference , this time from Japan, in January 2004 ,in a report citing an Associated Press article in Tokyo had these excerpts....

"...Sixteen people developed interstitial pneumonia, a debilitating lung condition, after taking the drug. Five of them, aged between 57 and 71, subsequently died, Mr. Kikuchi said.....Overseas, the drug has been administered to some 400,000 people and 80 people had developed interstitial pneumonia..."

An Australian government site reporting back in 2000....

"To date, ADRAC has received 669 reports associated with the use of leflunomide, of which 142 reports involved respiratory symptoms. Twenty two reports describe one or more of the following serious reactions: pneumonitis (8), interstitial lung disease (9), lung infiltration (4), or pulmonary fibrosis (3). Although these 22 reports have used different medical terms, it is likely they have all reported the same condition, commonly called interstitial lung disease (ILD).
Among the 22 reports of ILD .... Four patients died. "

There are many other studies and references but this is enough to at least make someone aware of it. It appears Mrs. Beans happened to be one of those rare few..and has discontinued the Arava, and is continuing treatment. ..so we're hopeful this year won't be heavy laden with respiratory problems like last year was.

Time for some Cartoons?

The lady at the insurance office replied to the customary "how ya doing?" with "It's Friday", with all the excitement of a kid in school Friday afternoon just a few more minutes till the bell.

Pretending to share in the enthusiasm was easy, since many many times that joyful "freedom" has been felt thru life...Such a good performance that its doubtful she had the slightest inkling that she was the only one there really excited .

That was the plan anyway, it just seems like people who actually only have a momentary business only relationship or knowledge of each other, owe it to each other to "keep that chin up", "show some white when ya smile", "leave 'em feeling even zippier than ya found them"...and maybe thats all she was actually doing too? Most of the time these days it just isn't really difficult being of good cheer, and sparkly energy...Today started out that way, but by afternoon things had changed.

Mrs Beans this past weekend, (wow, has a whole week passed!), had developed a very severe cough, and seemed to have precious little capacity to breathe. ER took a chest X-ray and easily diagnosed those air hoses going into the lungs were clogging up, bronchitis, they saw congestion in the bronchi but the X-ray had good news...if she could get those hoses cleaned up the lungs were clear... so they sent her on her way with cough suppressant and a 6day zpack of strong antibiotic.

By the time Fantastic Friday arrived she should've been chirping like a bird and grinnin like that insurance woman...but there was very little change, and that had to be a disappointing way to start the year. Almost a whole week, (the first week of a new year)...breathing very shallow, keeping very still, or and yet..inevitably,...coughing so hard it hurts all over. Some say that acute bronchitis generally lasts 7-10 days though so there was a glimmer of hope there to explain away the lack of improvement cause it was probably just gonna come all at once the last few days of that stretch.

The doctor seemed confused about the lack of progress, all those little readings they could take like blood pressure and temperature and what not was fine enough, so whats the holdup? Being the cautious man he's always been, he sends her over for one of those CT angio pulmonary things they call a Cat scan...but since they stick a needle in the arm and inject saline, then in a bit...some kind of dye...its probably not the way a person would really be planning to spend ..."a Friday". Yet once that was done...Yihaw! (Well, the exciting thought really centered more on getting back under the covers in that comfortable bed, where breathing shallow isn't too hard on a body).

About the time the covers were pulled and the car was cooling off, that doctor was on the phone personally..."good news is, didn't see any embolism"...(Now even if ya didn't know what an embolism was, it would still just SEEM like good news that there wasn't one crawling around inside). ..but the bad news is...it isn't just the hoses that were clogged, both the lungs were especially "infiltrated"..."bilateral pulmonary infiltrate". Its one thing to try to vacuum with a clogged hose, but when the bag is full, its a whole lot of work and not much cleaning. So even if the Bronchitis was completely cleared up (which it wasn't)...there wasn't much place for that air to go. As the good Doctor talked he seemed to kind of mumble off, not only did it just not make any sense...at this point things are getting a bit spooky.

So its just not easy to go in there and tell your very best friend in life that not only is it unlikely the next few days will be the high speed end of feeling good, better, best...but instead, things aren't going to be letting up much, and it could be a hard journey these next coming days. She took it all pretty good, or she put on a good performance, cause as she turned to sleep...all the final errands of the day were just beginning...(including the stop at the insurance office)

...It just didn't make any sense. All indicators pointed the other way...there wasn't anything environmental or burdensome these past 5 days...so why were things turning the wrong way? Thats not how its supposed to work. Thats when that little bottle of pills the Rheumatoid doctor had her on since spring came back to mind and that phone was working in reverse, soon that doctor was agreeing, it might be a good idea to stop those daily doses of Arava (Leflunomide) at least for now.

So there might have been several hours of errands to run, but there wasn't any doubt that there was going to be some heavy duty researching done when this Friday slowed down.

You'll have to wait till next blog to find out what all that turned up, if anything...so till then "keep that chin up", "show some white when ya smile", "leave 'em feeling even zippier than ya found them"...(and take a long slow deep breath and let it out even slower...cause even that is something ya just can't know how good it is till ya lose it). And if you remember right, there was something better than a Friday afternoon school bell...it was those Saturday mornings!