All my life I've fought very hard against laziness...I felt its temptation always biting at me and me working all the harder to make sure I wasn't "lazy".
But now, closing the first half century in a few more years....I'm afraid its caught me. I accept that as descriptive, but I accept it with annoyance, disappointment and confusion . But alas....I'm starting to really believe that I have become lazy.
That may not mean much to some, but think about it from my view...the fight against laziness is what compelled me all those years thru some pretty impossibly hard times, i kept fighting against laziness with effort I can't now imagine. Yet these days, like a bird entangled in thick ivy, I've become entangled in the trappings of laziness. I feel as if I've GOT to break free of its hold and get after life again...but I'm tired, so tired, and achy in the bones. But maybe I'm tired because I've let my stamina/energy deteriorate (out of laziness)....laziness has very tangly tricky tentacles.
Now we did travel like 7000 miles last week and get in only 2 nights ago, both of which we had a lot of catching up to do with that little 5 year old.
And I did take a nasty fall from about 3 foot up just as I was getting the last things to put in the car for heading home. Landing on the back of my head with what came dang near to being one of them internal inguinal hernia thingys....but its GREATLY improved now , though I still feel sore and stiff in my legs and arms. And that being overweight business is putting strain on my frame and joints as well....another area needing attention *sigh*, ...so got a lot of things i need to "whip into shape" to get to where i feel like "whipping things into shape". Think about that one. But I'm happy...and intent on staying that way.
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Ah, I know this feeling. People talk about time management and having too many things to do; but I think it usually boils down to "energy" management. To have infinite time and limited energy would be sheer torture. But to have infinite energy and limited time would be ecstasy.
When we're young we tend to take our energy reserves for granted; as we get older, we've burned through our inheritance and start living on our own investments.
Good news is, the return rate is awesome. Since the mind and body are part of the same system, spending a little time to make the body vibrant returns energy to the mind 10 fold. All those boring, sensible things that the body compensates for in youth, like sleep, quality of diet, exercise, stretching and relaxation become energy debts once the reserves are gone.
Just come back to the body for a bit, not as a source of pleasure, but as enjoyment (the body is as spiritual as the mind) and see if that energy doesn't bounce back naturally and with interest.
The cycles of life can be both awe-inspiring and frustrating. For instance, when we are young we seem to have boundless energy and yet youngsters are constantly complaining "that they don't have anything to do". Now when we are "mature" we often hear this expression "I have so many things I want to do and so little energy".
I have made some changes in my use of my energy alotment. Where I use to use it first to do what I thought was the necessary chores i.e. washing, cleaning, cooking and etc, now I have decided to do what I enjoy more (playing games, genealogy, land research, etc). There are days that I confess to Gerbeans fear of being lazy. But then rather quickly, I say, nay, just getting my priorities straight. Then I do the necessary chores with the "leftovers".
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