Latest update

The ENT doc had some news..."you have serious serious hearing loss". I'm thinking, I PAID you to determine that?? But he also said since it was sensineural or something like that, it was inoperable, no known surgery or technology could correct it except possibly hearing aids.

The hearing aid guy naturally thought that with $1500 worth of inner ear hearing aids I could do just great. When it was explained that I've had molded inner ear hearing aids, programable hearing aids, Over the Ear hearing aids...and the net effect is the same...garbled noises get louder, speech is still not discernable...he thought maybe the same type hearing aid but smaller power was just what would cure the problem.

Bringing all that back to the ENT he explained that it is very possible that my hearing loss will not be correctable by hearing aids. Its permanent, and its decline is continuing.

Even if I could get SSDI and try to use that to go back to school, even at the level I'm at right now I would be unable to know what the instructor was saying. At the rate it is dropping within a few years I will be more severe to profound and my life will be becoming very very different. Already lost "going to the movies" because they have no captions and it really annoys people to keep telling me what they said.
Already lost is hearing phones ring unless I get it set to just the right pitch and volume. Already lost is the ability to comprehend most of what my precious 6 year old daughter says to me...and it frustrates her to keep repeating.

Television and music is for the most part annoying because it is just noise. Ever heard your car engine? What did it say? You got a better chance of understanding the words of the engine than I do understanding the words of most songs. Just noise.

Anyhow, I filed for the SSDI, the waiting game and probably the long litigation road has begun. Meanwhile, I'll be trying to get by with getting employed again, I need more income than what SSDI will pay anyway at this point so maybe I can gather some up before the deafness is more complete. But at least if/when that kicks in, I'll be able to find something I can train into that doesn't require hearing yet is still meaningful employment.

So really not much new news there, just one more doctor saying the same thing they all keep saying. "nothing I can do for you", "you have very serious hearing loss", "it keeps getting worse, come back next year we'll test it again"...I'm thinking WHY??? If there is no surgery or technology that can help my type of loss, what is the point in sitting there with a blank look on my face when I'm supposed to be hearing sounds and pushing the button or raising my hand...just so they can tell me one more time..yep, its a little worse.

The house hunt is going ok, looks like the place I'll be able to be moving my brother and self into is going to be available about the 15th. Wish that was sooner. My goal for the rest of the week is to have the stuff transferred from the house to storage that is mine, and the stuff from the storage to the house that is hers. I know she is worried that will be a battle that I'll want more than what is mine but I seriously doubt that will be the case. And surely if she ever knew me, she would know I land on the generous side not the greedy side.

The job hunt is going to be a challenge but I think I've got a workable plan that will get me employment for awhile, hopefully for 2 years...but by then it is pretty certain that my hearing will prevent me from continuing in that or most any other skill/trade I have/know.

But I'm excited even at the possibility of working again, of having the painful part of the divorce resolved, and building a quality life.

Folks, thats enough update for now.