Saturday, April 18, 2009

Viva la difference between Mars and Venus

A friend of mine sent me this, thought it might brighten your day a bit...

"I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it,I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day, I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her why not just get all 3.

She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit..'. We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis!

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.'

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,'WHAT?!'

I then said; 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'..."

2 comments:

Marbella said...

If I was a divorce lawyer, I would send this couple my card.

First, shouldn't the husband listen to what his wife is saying? Maybe she just wants sometimes to be held and cuddled without "sex". Shouldn't they have a marriage that is worth taking some effort to learn each others' needs?

Now if meeting her emotional needs means "buying stuff" then that might be good advice but you will eventually need that lawyer's card as emotional fulfillment can never be reached with material things.

Second, if the husband "felt" hurt and rejected by her actions, why would he want revenge by doing her the same way.

I think this is the most profound analogy of what is wrong in our marriages today.

Sorry if I sound like a wet blanket but marriage is too sacred to treat lightly. Each of us must go over and above to be sensitive to each others' needs. Notice I did not say "wants"

Ger said...

LOL I'm pretty sure it was supposed to be a joke...doubt it really happened.