THINGS I LEARNED TODAY

This is for my own sake mainly so skip it and you won't miss much. I'm just thinking things through.

I gotta become really good at precision back hoe work real quick, and be quick at it, wise in my set up, wise in my choice for the dump truck to get in and be squared up at the right angle...I THINK I'm probably capable of being dead on when it comes to laying out the location of the dig as per the schematics go...but I've got to become dead on...the digging has got to be square...straight down, not belled in/out but straight on all 4 sides and even the bottom...we're not talking about your average trench, this guy expects precision, and taking 40-45 minutes to finish one out...(even though it wasn't "my" set up, and the ground was tough...)..was "mentioned" as going to take us way too long, aint going to cut it...I replied "yeah, I am still working on the dig right now haven't started working on speed yet, I'll get there". Kind of reminds me of having a "drill sergeant" who has a set way and speed he wants it done, it's not just a matter of doing it..it is doing it their way...

Paid my electric bill online today. Kept "meaning too" since the 18th before it was due. After I went online and paid it and the late charge...I went in and found in the mail a cutoff notice for the 5th...dang , sheesh...I was only a week late guys chill out...I've been your customer for like over a decade...I gotta call them tomorrow and make sure everything is straightened out..

Heard tonight that wolf is moving out to the north country on the 3rd. Is this good bye? Is he saying good bye for another reason...has he truly given up? Is this good bye..but the beginning, since being "alone" is what has just killed him the most inside...he's a joy to be around but ya got to be willing to clean up after a slob because he just trashes stuff cause it isn't worth it to put it in the trash can, that is effort he is unwilling to dispatch...I think its an "I don't have to" type thing...it is like he got handicapped at that mentally...being at the point you can refuse that other wise you would "have to" do...like throw the trash in the can, not the floor, not the cabinet...wash each day's dishes and have them put away before you are done with each meal.

Finally got my banking online password and account set up. That is a relief, looks pretty up to the minute too. Liking that...though now after paying the electric bill, it should just wipe me to a 15 balance but I got 20 or more coming out for paypal so guess I had better check that and add from change around here what it takes to make that clear. Other than that, we should make it till the 3rd, and the 5th. Then we can catch up the dentist, a bank debt, and get the credit card in to transfer over what accrued using mom's over to my own name.

Spent most of the day on the back-hoe today,

I've missed time with the ole coot, though he is a pain to live with,( mainly cause he's a slob), he's a character. All he has to do to quit drinking...is, quit drinking. And then he would need to figure out how to enjoy being alive ..find the positive, wholesome things that were enjoyable and occupying and demanding full attention..but also relaxing..most critically important...an enjoyable got to do that he plays at every day..even if it is a video game like WOW or anything...hand drawn desk top towers would be a great one..(google that) Find something fun in life to pass your time while sober...don't just let the sober hours pass empty not knowing how to fill it except with alcohol...

M-80's been down this last few days, hoping it doesn't end up pneumonia...has been a really tough time this past year...even recovering from the surgery has been painful and discouraging to her. The goal now is just to get he walking again at least a mile and a half a day. But if it is 100 yards in the game to get to the goal, we're only 40 yards there.

New job is taking up alot of my thinking. Meshing with that kind of personality, and mentally figuring out and excelling in operation of machinery and decision making, knowing there will still be only "finally!" as praise. M-80 being down made the weekend long, having little one for the weekend. It makes my day long now cause I can't really call and visit (she's lost her voice with this chest cold), so that kinda is negative...and I'm being disciplined...which is an indescribable vital benefit...by working in a drill sarge like work relation.

Today I spent most all day just digging back fill, separating the sandy, gravelly, from the thick chunky clay. Hauling off the back fill to a pile. Learning how to go up to the pile to the top and immediately rotate bucket down, it will pull me up even higher as it dumps. And while I'm building up the collected pile of back fill, if there have been any limbs accumulated down at the limb pile, push them up into a higher pile also.

It was fun. But it got tiring, and I'm not sure why. Time passed quickly and in some ways it was more a video game than "work" but I was glad each break time. Think the only reason is...I've gotten lazy and not use to pushing harder. Driving made me soft in a way...cause while it was pushing alot of hours...this is stressful pushing with alot of concentrated effort...(made stressful because it was constantly being scrutinized and more expected...otherwise known as "training")...

I hear my youngest sib is "coming in" to ma's tomorrow evening. Really looking forward to seeing them. Going to have to divide time up so much..spend alot of time in storage organizing, removing, adding to....And time with M80 and time with little bro(s)... Looking forward to it.

Going to watch a bit of tv, get motivated, and hopefully go get that marker board..so thats about all for now but my mind is bouncing many figurings like:
ERA had a role in alot of people becoming pregnant.

And oh yeah...is there anyway to delete all the shows that are essentially "who dun it" shows from television, and any show involving a cop, a judge, a detective, a lawyer, a court room....take those out and there is always the weather channel and cartoons.

Watched "Jacket" the other night. Movie has been in my head ever since, trying to figure it. Very visual comprehension of the "Is all that I see or seem but a dream within a dream".

Faith comes by hearing the Scripture.
Faith escalates when the nature of God's handiwork declares Him...

I really want to make a pumpkin pie this year, from scratch, even my own crust..
want a regular crust on bottom home made, then a layer of crushed pecan in caramel, then a thick layer of pumpkin, then a graham "crust lid" topped with a layer of whip cream, then a topping checkered with caramel streams and pecans. Thinking maybe the whip cream needs a healthy topping of shred coconut?

Money is going to need to be EXTREMELY CAREFULLY managed these next 6 weeks to get back on our feet.

Again...thinking of things to add to the grocery list...like water, paper towel, paper plates, plastic cups, new sauce pan, Dang I need to go get that marker board. And I need to find some stuff to put up for sell, and I need to check my mail in town hope the card comes in, got to progress ever further at work, need to enjoy all the time I can with family while I have opportunity.

Level the front end bucket, lower till it raises the front wheels off the ground, back up to and through the small dirt pile...it will level as it goes as much as it can.

When starting the dig, keep the first wall straight up and down, only wiggle at the bottom if digging is tough.

I can't believe THAT much power is available thru using hydraulics..yet hydraulic is not used in propelling the automobile. The principle of hydraulics is simple to understand and phenomenal in application...one of our most POWERFUL machinery would use an amazing amount of hydraulics. Why can't a small low idle powerful diesel engine propel the vehicle through a centrifugal clutch or even have a hydraulic assist on a bicycle...see, I really should start that, develop it...bike does 35 with great ease, or climbs hill with same consistent amount of force applied to hydraulic system.... ya..i want to make a hydraulic assisted bike..

anyhow...life is too short to accomplish even a fraction of my dreams, but one part of my life dream is already in place, actually two or three parts. my granted-by-grace spiritual life, and my faith, being with "the one" who causes you constant laughter and joy and true love...there are several other dreams that I've got on the right track...but there are many that I've got to repair...vocationally, I need to both enjoy the physical and real grounded work I do now , but somehow I need to include in my day a devoted study time to advancement of creating income on the internet and learning the action script programming language...learning it, using it, developing with it, marketing with it.

So many thoughts. So many feelings. So many concerns. So little time.